He asked me if I "almost moaned"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am available for nakedness
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
