U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
