What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
