So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
