Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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