Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think your dad took our porno
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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