the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize