I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
