Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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