8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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