I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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