I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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