so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
