how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still dying that you shit outside
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize