I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
