my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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