It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
