lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
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He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
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You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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