so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize