Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
