I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
