Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Drake has all the answers
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
