Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You need a sexual gate keeper
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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