It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
handjob tips. give me some.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
