I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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