4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
