Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
North Korea, Best Korea!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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