I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
