the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
