her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
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Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.