remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
