Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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