You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.