even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
