You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
