How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
