I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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