you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
