so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
