At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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