It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
are you so shy because you have an std?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
