I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
