Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
