After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
