he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
