Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
