At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
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I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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