my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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