She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
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i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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