There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
