Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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