a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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