she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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