You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
