Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
