We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
