he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize