The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
we should paint friendship bongs
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize